How can I deal with the exploding Anger within?
by Venerable Thubten Chodron

Q: Since the pandemic hit the world and changed how the world operates with profound impact in so many areas: world economy, work operation, domestic job market and financial trade, I have been experiencing greater anger within. How can I handle the exploding anger and bring healing to myself? – TA

A: Anger and other destructive emotions are not the nature of our mind/heart, so they can be diminished and eventually removed completely from our mind stream through the development of patience, love, compassion and wisdom. Many of the people we admire — the Buddha, Jesus, Mahatma Gandhi and others — had the ability to remain internally undisturbed in the face of harm and externally act for the benefit of others. Their anger was neither expressed nor repressed. It was simply absent, having been transformed into tolerance and compassion.

Thus, an alternative exists besides expressing or repressing anger. When we express our anger, our words and deeds can easily hurt others. In addition, expressing anger does not rid ourselves of it. On the contrary, each time we express hostility — even if it is by beating a pillow or screaming in an empty field — we strengthen the habit of feeling and acting out its violent energy. What happens if one day there is no pillow around to pummel, no field nearby to scream in and we are surrounded only by human beings?

On the other hand, repressing anger doesn’t eliminate it either. The anger still exists, no matter how much we may try to pretend to ourselves or others that it doesn’t. It may still erupt, sometimes when we are least prepared to handle it. Repressed anger may also damage us physically or mentally. Expressing anger is one extreme, and repressing it is another. In both cases, the habit of anger remains in one form or another.

Patience is an alternative. It is the ability to remain internally calm and undisturbed in the face of harm or difficulties. The Sanskrit word “kshanti” has no suitable equivalent in English. Here we use “patience,” but kshanti also includes tolerance, internal calm, and endurance. Thus patience, as it is used here, also includes these qualities.

Patience does not involve pasting a plastic smile on our face while hatred simmers inside. It involves dissolving the anger-energy so that it is no longer there. Then, with a clear mind, we can evaluate various alternatives and decide what to say or do to remedy the situation.

When speaking of both anger and patience, we must differentiate mental attitudes from external actions. For example, anger may manifest in different behaviours.

When Gary is angry, he explodes. He shouts, curses, and at times has even been known to throw something. Karen, however, withdraws. She goes into her room, closes the door, and refuses to talk. She may sulk for days. These two people are both angry, but they manifest it in totally different behaviours: one is aggressive, the other passive.

Similarly, patience may manifest in various behaviours. It gives us the mental space to choose appropriate behaviour for the situation. Sometimes we may speak strongly to others because that is the most effective way to communicate with them at that moment. For example, if a child is playing in the street and her father very sweetly says, “Susie dear, please don’t play in the street,” she will likely ignore him. On the other hand, if he speaks forcefully, she will most likely remember and obey. But internally, the parent’s mind can be calm and compassionate when doing this. The child will sense the difference between the words said when he is centred and the same words said when he is upset.

In other situations, a patient attitude may manifest as calm behaviour. Rather than retort to a passerby’s taunt, Bob chooses not to respond. He does this not out of weakness or fear, but by wisely deciding not to feed a potentially hostile situation.

A common misconception is that patience equals passivity. However, when we correctly understand the meaning of patience — noting that it is an internal attitude, not an external behaviour — we see that this is incorrect. Rather, calmness in the face of harm gives us the space to evaluate situations clearly and thus to make wise decisions. This is one of the foremost advantages of patience.

Another advantage of patience is that it leaves our mind free from turbulence and pain, and our body free from tension. This benefits our health. Many studies show that calm people heal more quickly after surgery and are less likely to have accidents. Ronda, upset by a conflict with a neighbour, was hammering together a new cabinet with ferocity. Suddenly she pulled herself up and thought, “If I continue like this, I’ll certainly hurt myself.” She breathed deeply, let her physical tension go, and resumed her carpentry with a different attitude.

Patience also enables us to live free from the pain of grudges, resentment and the wish for revenge. Because we are able to communicate better with others, our relationships are more harmonious and last longer. Instead of our friendships being ripped apart by anger, they are deepened by attentive listening and considerate speaking. We thus amass fewer regrets, so our mind is at ease at the time of death. Accumulating positive karma, we know we are on the path to fortunate rebirths, liberation and enlightenment.

Patience, in addition, directly affects the people and atmosphere around us by short-circuiting the dysfunctional ways in which people interact with one another. Before school, Ron’s daughter arrived at the car frustrated because her hair band was tangled in her hair. Instead of scolding her for doing her hair at the last minute and thus condemning both of them to having a bad day, on smiled and helped her pull out the band.

Reflecting and contemplating so will help you deal with the anger within and bring greater clarity and calmness to the mind.

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Compassion without attachment is possible. Therefore, we need to clarify the distinctions between compassion and attachment. True compassion is not just an emotional response but a firm commitment founded on reason. Because of this firm foundation, a truly compassionate attitude toward others does not change even if they behave negatively. Genuine compassion is based not on our own projections and expectations, but rather on the needs of the other: irrespective of whether another person is a close friend or an enemy, as long as that person wishes for peace and happiness and wishes to overcome suffering, then on that basis, we develop genuine concern for their problem. This is genuine compassion. For a Buddhist practitioner, the goal is to develop this genuine compassion, this genuine wish for the well-being of another, in fact for every living being throughout the universe.

— His Holiness the Dalai Lama

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修学佛法的基本认知
济群法师

今天,我和大家谈一谈修学佛法必须具备的基本认知。
  
佛法博大精深,尤其在今天这个资讯和媒体极为发达的时代,我们得以广泛接触各种法门。除汉传各宗派外,还有因缘了解南传佛教和藏传佛教。目前,甚至有不少年轻人是通过网络学佛。网上不仅有很多佛学资料和讲经音像,还可以接触并认识不少出家师父,足不出户便可听闻妙法,请益受教。可以说,现代人学习佛法的机会远比古人更多、更便利。
  
在这个看似“容易”的过程中,相关问题也就产生了:我们如何分辨法义的真伪、邪正?我们虽然见多识广了,但真正产生作用的有多少?落实于心行的又有多少?我们不妨认真反省一下:修学佛法之后,烦恼减轻了没有?对人生的认识改变了没有?如果答案是否定的,那么,问题又出在何处?
  
学佛的关键,不仅在于接触了多少法门或读诵了多少典籍,而在于所学能否落实于心行,转化为改造生命的力量。佛法虽然浩如烟海,谈理论有三藏十二部典籍,论实修有八万四千法门。但基本要领是共通的,核心部分也并不太多,这正是古德所说的“佛法无多子”。
  
那么,哪些是佛法的根本呢?

一、人身的价值

首先,必须认识到暇满人身的重大意义。
  
很多人不曾意识到,人的身份究竟有多重要。因为我们此生是以这一身份来到世间,似乎做人是再平常不过的事。殊不知,在无尽的生死轮回中,我们历经多少劫的沉沦漂浮才有机会生而为人。虽然世界上有几十亿人口,但从六道轮回的角度来看,和无穷无尽的空间中难以计数的生命总量相比,又是多么微不足道。大千世界,芸芸众生,得以生而为人者几何?正如佛陀告诫我们的那样:得人身者,如爪上土;失人身者,如大地土。
  
茫茫宇宙间,我们有幸得到人身,是今生所能拥有的最大福报。除此而外,即使贵为帝王,其价值也无法与之比拟。当我们谈到价值时,往往只想到家中的房子、汽车值多少,想到自己的孩子、事业有多重要。我们关注的,无非就是这些,每天的用心也无非纠缠于这些,似乎人生的所有价值就蕴涵其中。或以日进斗金为人生价值,或以身居高位为人生价值,或以生活奢华为人生价值。当然,也不能说这一切就毫无价值,只是对人生而言,其意义是短暂而非永久的。可悲的是,这些眼前利益反而成了很多人终生不悔的追求。
  
我们学佛,应明确何为真正的价值。和财富、地位相比,拥有人的身份显然更有价值。当然,社会上也有很多要钱不要命的莽夫,为赚钱一切都在所不惜。但深究起来,这些人往往是存有侥幸心理,若必须一对一地交换,一边是钱,一边是命,又有谁愿意达成这笔交易呢?当生命和金钱不可兼得时,再贪婪的人也会意识到生命之可贵:若是一命呜呼,再多的钱又有什么意义呢?无论财富、地位,还是事业、感情,在死亡前都显得苍白无力。对生命即将走到尽头的人而言,曾经孜孜以求的这一切,不再有任何意义。即使我们再执著、再留恋、再不舍,也只能两手空空地离开这个世界。在那个时刻,财富不过是空洞的数字,事业不过是逝去的旧梦,家庭不过是难以割舍的牵挂。往往是,生前拥有得越多,离开时的遗憾也就越多。
  
不仅是生命,乃至我们身体的每一部分,都比财富、地位更为重要。一般人不会意识到,健康的眼睛或四肢有多大作用。因为我们习惯于使用它们,习惯得感觉不到它们的存在。唯有失去时,才会发现它们的价值:没有眼睛,就会失去五彩的世界;没有耳朵,则会失去音声的世界。
  
人类之所以贵为万物之灵,正在于我们拥有的色身和身份。佛教提倡“众生平等”,但又强调“人身难得”。因为我们的所有追求必得依赖这个身份才能实现,尤其是人类有别于其他动物的精神追求,如艺术生活、宗教生活。遗憾的是,多数人并未有效利用这一身份,反而成为色身的奴隶,一生只为饮食男女忙碌,为接踵而至的欲望操劳。不仅为此付出了今生,更为这份执著造作种种必须偿还的恶业,殃及未来生命。尤其在世风日下的今天,稍有不慎就会沾染种种不良习气。常常是事业做成了,心态和品行却做坏了,实在是得不偿失。因为事业是暂时的,而做事过程中积累的心行却不会过期作废。
  
事实上,人生最大的价值,不在于物质追求,也不在于普通的精神追求,而是成就佛陀那样圆满的慈悲和智慧,如诸佛菩萨那样尽未来际自觉觉他,自利利他。否则,即使因行善而感得人天果报,终是流转生死的有漏之因。
  
佛陀在菩提树下悟道时发现:一切众生皆具如来智慧德相,只因妄想执著不能证得。从这个意义来说,我们和佛菩萨是无二无别的,所谓“心、佛、众生,三无差别”。但摆在眼前的现实是,我们和佛菩萨有着天渊之别。原因何在?因为我们是活在凡夫心的层面,所作所为都不曾超越凡夫心。无论怎样努力,所成就的利益也是有限的。若想实现生命最大的价值,唯一的道路,就是开发我们本具的佛菩萨般的品质,这才是生命的无价之宝,尽虚空、遍法界的财富皆不能与之比拟。
  
成佛的修行,唯有人的身份才能成办。若拥有人身而不加珍惜,精勤道业,未来又将流浪六道,不知何时方为了期。希望大家莫要蹉跎岁月,否则将是今生最大的浪费。

二、发心

发心代表着人生的目标和指向。不仅学佛要发心,成办世间利益同样需要发心。人们希望成家立业、升官发财,也属于发心的一种。世、出世间任何事情,都要心的参与方能成就。在做事过程中,人们通常只关注外在结果,却忽略了心的参与及在参与过程中发生的变化。
  
我们要知道,同样的行为,以不同的发心来做,结果会大相径庭。对于凡夫来说,一切行为都是建立在凡夫心的基础上。那么,凡夫心又有哪些特征呢?
  
凡夫之所以为凡夫,根本原因是在于无明。无明,又名不觉。当我们每产生一种想法、情绪或念头时,无法在当下以智慧去观照并照破,也就是《心经》所说的“照见五蕴皆空”。我们常常在不知不觉的当下,一头就栽进这些想法、情绪或念头中,被它们左右数天、数月甚至持续一生。就像武侠小说描写的那样,一辈子沉浸于爱恨情仇中,似乎生命的全部意义皆维系于此。
  
作为旁观者,我们或许会为这种畸形的人生感到不值。事实上,我们自己也常常扮演类似的角色。每一种想法、情绪或念头出现时,因为缺乏智慧的观照,我们那颗四处攀缘的心就会粘附其上,进而产生执著。当心落入这些陷阱后,念头又会继续攀缘念头,最终越陷越深。对我们所讨厌的人,时时想到他的诸般不义,如此,负面情绪越想越大。一旦成为主宰我们的力量,痛苦自然在所难免。如果在这些想法萌芽之时,我们能以智慧进行观照,便能将烦恼消融于觉照中,使之不能继续产生作用。
  
无明而外,我执也是凡夫心的重要力量。凡夫的特点是处处想着自己,一切皆以自我为单位,如我的想法、我的事业、我的家庭、我的健康等,痴迷于自我感觉中。而这种关于“自我”的错觉,正是一切贪嗔痴烦恼的根本。我们所以会起贪心,是因为“我”喜欢,于是想占为己有;所以会起嗔心,是因为“我”讨厌,欲除之而后快。
  
佛法的缘起观告诉我们:一切现象本无“我”及“我所”。当我们粘上自我的感觉后,它就成为烦恼之源。比如这个茶杯,本是因缘和合的产物,无“我”及“我所”,更不会对我们构成任何影响。但我们买下茶杯后,立刻在上边粘附了自我的感觉,认为茶杯是“我的”。于是乎,当这个茶杯丢失或损坏时,我们难免会受到影响。
  
其实,世间时刻都在发生各种天灾人祸,但并不是所有变故都会对我们构成伤害。能使我们为之动心的,只是发生在我们身边并与我们有关的人和事。世间每天都有无数孩子患病甚至死亡,一般人只会对此感到同情,甚至漠不关心的也大有人在。但对于母亲来说,孩子的病痛就是头等大事,若不幸夭折,更难以从丧子之痛中摆脱出来。原因就是母亲在孩子身上粘附了“我”的感觉。可见,真正构成伤害的,并非某个孩子的健康状况,而是这种“我”的感觉。
  
凡夫心的力量,还包括贪心、嗔恨心、我慢心、嫉妒心。这些力量左右着我们的一切心行,渗透于我们所做的每件事情。即使学佛之后,我们还会带着这些心行习惯进入佛门。比如,我们会贪著寺院的环境,贪著崇拜的师父,贪著所修的法门。表面来看,我们似乎也在学佛,也在修行,但心行仍滞留于凡夫心。
  
若不能及时认识到这一点,最后成就的也只能是凡夫心。
  
了解凡夫的心行之后,便能明确以怎样的心学佛。凡夫往往带着世俗的功利心亲近三宝,无非是保平安、求福报。若以这样的目的学佛,是对生命的极大浪费。佛陀的教法,是让我们了解生命真相,进而帮助我们实现人生最高价值,这才是佛法的不共之处。
  
所以,我们要发大心,立大愿。十方三世一切诸佛,都是在因地发起宏愿才成就的。如阿弥陀佛在因地发四十八大愿,成就西方净土;药师琉璃光如来在因地上发十二大愿,成就东方净琉璃世界。观世音菩萨、地藏王菩萨、普贤菩萨、文殊菩萨也都是从发菩提心开始,为利益一切有情而上求佛道,下化众生。
  
我们不必妄自菲薄,以为成佛是无法兑现的梦想。在因地上,那些业已成就的诸佛菩萨,也曾和我们一样是可怜的众生。我们之所以修不起来,是因为菩提心尚未发起。而我们现有的凡夫心是非常狭隘的,很难平等饶益一切众生。所以,我们必须不断强化自己的发心,同时以正见剔除世俗菩提心中的杂质,由世俗菩提心升华为胜义菩提心。如此,距离佛道就不再遥远。因为菩提心具有觉悟、平等、无限、无所得的特征,当我们以一切众生为利益对象并将心量扩张到无限时,就能和佛菩萨相应。这正是《华严经》所说的“初发心即成正觉”。
  
我们通常认为:发心是起点,成佛是终点。而起点和终点之间三大阿僧祇劫的距离,足以使心力羸弱者退却。但我们要知道,发心的心和成佛的心是一而非二,并无本质区别。所不同者,只是发心的纯度尚未圆满。若发心发得准确、到位、究竟,当下这颗心和成佛所成就的心,就是无二无别的。由此可见,成佛并非遥不可及,更不是天方夜谭。因为成佛所应具备的品质,众生心中本已具足,只需将它圆满开发出来。
  
如何开发呢?首先要发出离心,意识到轮回的本质是苦,这就必须以放弃现世享乐为前提。若我们仍贪著现世安逸,是无法摆脱凡夫心的,这也正是古德特别强调的“舍弃今生”。其次是要发菩提心,不仅自己希望出离,更发愿帮助一切众生解脱。
  
发心,是修行能否成就的关键。如果发心正确,修行就成功了一半;如果发心圆满,也就是修行的圆满成就。以《华严》的见地来说,发心圆满即等同于修行圆满。同时,猛利的发心还可对治贪著等诸多烦恼。若我们发起猛利的出离心,不再贪著世间五欲六尘,再去念佛、修行,便能与道相应。一般人之所以修行不得力,多是因为对现世的贪著太深,故一句佛号很难念得相应。

三、皈依

许多人只是将皈依当做获得佛教徒资格的形式,很少意识到它对修行有多么重要。其实,整个佛法修行都未离开皈依的内涵。我们所皈依的佛、法、僧三宝,代表着佛法的全体,缺少任何一宝,都是不完整的。学佛,从皈依外在的三宝开始,最终在自己生命中实践内在的三宝,涵盖了从修行到成就的全过程。
  
皈依三宝,关键在于对三宝生起强烈的依赖之心。通常,各人都有自己依赖的对象,包括感情、事业、金钱、地位等,并以此作为人生追求。但我们必须认识到,这些依托都是不可靠的。我们依赖感情,但亲人可能会变心;我们依赖孩子,但孩子长大后未必听话。于是有人说,世间唯有金钱最可靠,因为它永不变心,但世间每天都有破产的人,即使将钱财锁在保险柜中,通货膨胀也会使它们大幅度缩水。
  
以佛法的智慧来看,人命无常,国土危脆,世间一切依赖都是不可靠的。而轮回之路是崎岖的,稍有不慎就会造下无穷恶业。在茫茫的生死苦海,在无尽的险恶轮回,我们随时可能落入三恶道中。人们只是被一些暂时的快乐所蒙蔽,看不到自身所处的险境。
  
死亡何时来临?我们没有丝毫把握。一口气不来,转息便是来生。来世投身何处?我们更是茫然无知,唯有随着业风飘荡。不断地念死无常,不断地思维恶道之苦,才能珍惜现有的分分秒秒。同时,对三宝产生强烈的依托感。在生死大海中,三宝犹如帮助我们逃离苦海的唯一舟航。离开这条救度之船,只能独自在海中挣扎。不少佛弟子虽皈依三宝,却未将三宝视为生命的依怙,甚至不曾在内心占据重要地位。在我们的心目中,还是金钱好,还是儿女好,还是事业好。即使遇到挫折时,也不肯深信因果,深信佛菩萨所揭示的生命真相,宁愿相信那些似是而非的道听途说,相信街头摆摊者的信口开河。这样的皈依三宝,只是徒具形式而已,并未在我们的心行产生作用。
  
皈依三宝,应不断忆念三宝功德。就像那些追星族,每天都在听着偶像的歌声,模仿偶像的装扮,搜集偶像的消息。在这种强化过程中,偶像就在其心中树立起崇高的地位。我们选择三宝作为皈依对象,也应不断思维佛陀无量的慈悲、智慧和功德,确信唯有佛陀才能将我们从生死中救拔出来,唯有佛法才是真正的解脱之道,唯有僧宝才是修行不可或缺的助伴。强化三宝在心目中的地位,才能将佛法深入于内心,念念与三宝功德相应,最终成就三宝的功德。
  
在佛法修行中,有两种方式:一是依据经教,通过闻、思、修的熏习,依循持戒、得定、发慧的步骤进行。一是直接以佛陀为榜样,以佛陀所行作为自身观修和临摹的对象。我近期所讲的《普贤行愿品的观修原理》,正是对这一修行方法的详细阐述。《普贤行愿品》出自被誉为“经中之王”的《大方广佛华严经》,是见地高超、至圆至顿的修法。虽有很多人以诵念《行愿品》为日常功课,却极少有人认识到其中蕴涵的观修方法,更无法运用于修行实践。我在研习《普贤行愿品》的过程中,感到这一法门极其殊胜,乃“菩提心的无上观修,成佛的临摹方法”。《普贤行愿品》的修法,是根据佛菩萨的心行而设定,每一愿皆以尽虚空、遍法界的众生为利益对象。所以,修学《行愿品》不应仅仅停留于念诵,更要认识并实践诸佛菩萨的功德,以《行愿品》揭示的心行特征调整我们的心,从而使生命内在品质发生变化。
  
同样,忆念三宝的过程,也正是念念成就三宝功德的过程。皈依三宝,就应以三宝为今生依托,通过诵经、拜佛、观想,树立三宝在我们心目中的地位。所以,皈依不仅是单纯的仪式,也不仅是学佛的开始,而是自始至终贯穿着整个修行过程。

四、深信业果

学佛的人,大约都以为自己是相信因果的。但扪心自问:我们对因果究竟信到什么程度?是“深信不疑”的“信”,还是“宁信其有,不信其无”式的信呢?
  
对于学佛者而言,深信业果是非常重要的。无明烦恼为什么会使我们流转生死?造作恶业为什么会使生命感得苦果?正是因果规律在支配。勤修戒定慧为什么能成就佛果?同样取决于“如是因感如是果”的原理。唯有深信业果真实不虚,我们才能自觉地止恶行善,真正对自己的生命负责。
  
每个人都关心自己的未来,为什么还会做出种种不负责任的行为?原因就在于不曾深信业果,从而怀有侥幸心理,以为自己会是那个逃脱恶业惩罚的幸运儿。久而久之,对因果的敬畏日渐淡薄,甚而流于习惯性的麻木。如果我们注意观察,会发现生活中充满因果的实例,只是以往未加注意罢了。我们常常可以看到,有些人口口声声相信因果,却毫无顾忌地造作恶业。这种所谓的“相信”,只是虚假的装饰而已。同时也说明,他们对业果的认识是极为浮浅的。
  
佛教所讲的因果是三世论,不仅贯穿着我们的今生,也贯穿着无尽的过去和未来。我们所能看到的,只是其中极其微小的一部分。对于不具备宿命通的凡夫来说,既看不到过去,看不到来世,也看不清现在,所以才会心存侥幸。如何才能加深对因果的认识?必须时常亲近善知识,认真闻思经教,以此强化业果在内心的警策力。
  
事实上,因果的另一层面是我们当下可以感觉到的,那就是心行的变化。当我们与贪嗔痴相应时,内心的负面力量随之增长,人性也随之堕落。一个贪婪无比的人,永远体会不到心满意足的快乐;一个嗔心炽盛的人,永远感受不到心平气和的从容。那么,贪嗔痴从何而来?正是我们逐渐培养出来的。我们对金钱、色欲的执著,便是滋长贪嗔痴的养料。即使外在一切并未因我们的贪嗔痴有所改变,但这些不善的心行力量仍会对自身生命构成过患。每件善行乃至一念之善,将使人性中善的力量得到张扬;反之,人性中恶的力量也会随之增长。世间有形形色色的人,有的很自我,有的很开放;有的很尖刻,有的很宽厚;有的很吝啬,有的很大度……每一种性格,都是生命的无尽积累。其中的负面因素,正是痛苦的源泉。
  
如果我们深知:每一件善恶行为必将对生命构成影响并留下痕迹,还会任意造作恶行吗?事实上,不仅一切行为如此,甚至起心动念也是功不唐捐的。我们的阿赖耶识就像电脑硬盘一样,忠实记录着输入的每一份资料。即使我们可以骗尽天下人,但永远骗不了自己,也绝无可能逃脱因果的自然法则。
  
“业决定”的道理告诉我们:有所为必将招感业果。这又包括两个方面:一是任何起心动念及外在行为,必将在内心形成力量。二是今生的乐果皆来自过去世的善业,而今生的苦果则来自过去世的恶业,所谓“业不作不得,业已作不失”。
  
当然,我们也不必为已造作的恶业背负沉重的心理负担,因为焦虑和自责皆于事无补。当我们认识到曾经犯下的恶业后,应至诚地发露忏悔:“往昔所造诸恶业,皆由无始贪嗔痴,从身语意之所生,一切我今皆忏悔。”以如法的忏悔清洗人格,荡涤种种罪业。更为重要的是,必须从此深信业果,慎护身口意三业,如理作意,法随法行,决不造作新的恶业。如此,才能生生增上,在菩提大道上勇往直前。
  
以上给大家提供了修学佛法必须具备的四个基本认知。佛法虽然浩瀚,但所有修行都离不开这些基础。宗喀巴大师在《菩提道次第论》中,将暇满人身的重大意义、皈依三宝、深信业果作为学佛修行的道前基础及共下士道的内容,又以“发心”贯穿三士道的修行。可见,这四点不仅是学佛之路的必要基础,也是修行成就的根本保障。

Ven Ji Qun (济群法师) 15.

In Buddhism, it is always encouraged for individuals to practice skilful means and wisdom, because although we might be engaged in actions that outpour compassion if the environment is wrong, then we might actually bring sadness to others. But with the tools of method and wisdom, we may be able to build harmonious and loving environments for many.

— Zurmang Gharwang Rinpoche

Zurmang Gharwang Rinpoche 52.

 

Understanding and Managing Stress
by Lily De Silva

Stress is called the “disease of civilisation”. Philip Zimbardo in his Psychology and Life traces four inter-related levels at which we react to the pressures exerted upon us from our environment. The four are: the emotional level, the behavioural level, the physiological level and the cognitive level.

The emotional responses to stress are sadness, depression, anger, irritation and frustration. The behavioural responses are poor concentration, forgetfulness, poor interpersonal relations and lowered productivity. The physiological responses consist of bodily tensions, which may lead to headaches, backaches, stomach ulcers, high blood pressure and even killer diseases. At the cognitive level, one may lose self-esteem and self-confidence, which leads to feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. At worst, such a person may even end up committing suicide.

In order to understand stress, let us consider the various environmental factors which exert pressure on modern man. In this present age, the very survival of the species is threatened by the possibility of a nuclear war. Population explosion threatens humans with severe food shortages; at present even a large segment of the human population is undernourished while others are dying of starvation and malnutrition. Environmental pollution causes severe health hazards, including mental and physical retardation. Unemployment among the skilled is a growing global problem. The pace of life has become so hectic that man is simply rushing from one task to another without pause. This is really paradoxical in an age when labour-saving devices are freely available and are in use to an unprecedented degree. Competition for educational and employment opportunities is so severe that it has contributed to the increase in suicide rates. The enjoyment of sense pleasures has become so obsessive although it is akin to drinking salt water to quench thirst. Constant stimulation of the senses is today considered a necessity. Sense stimulation goes on unrestrained but satiation is far from achieved. It is no wonder that man, caught up in all this, is terribly confused and frustrated, and his life is intolerably stressful. This is the situation Buddhism describes as “tangles within and tangles without, people are enmeshed in tangles.”

While the above observations were made from the perspectives of modern studies and contemporary conditions, Buddhism makes similar observations from a psychological perspective. Man experiences stress and suffering because of five psychological states which envelop his whole personality. They are called nivarana in the Pali language, meaning “hindrances”. They hinder happiness and overcloud man’s vision of himself, his environment and the interaction between the two. The thicker and more opaque these hindrances, the greater the stress and suffering man experiences. The thinner and more sparse these hindrances, the less his suffering with a corresponding increase in happiness. These five hindrances are the desire for sensual pleasures, anger, indolence, worry and doubt. The Pali canon illustrates the effect of these hindrances with the help of five eloquent similes. The mind overpowered by the desire for sense pleasures is compared to coloured water which prevents a true reflection of anything on the water. Thus a man obsessed with the desire for sense pleasures is unable to get a true perspective of either himself or other people or his environment. The mind oppressed by anger is compared to boiling water which cannot give an accurate reflection. A man overpowered by anger is unable to discern an issue properly. When the mind is in the grip of indolence, it is like moss-covered water: light cannot even reach the water and a reflection is impossible. The lazy man does not even make an effort at correct understanding. When worried, the mind is like wind-tossed turbulent water, which also fails to give a true reflection. The worried man, forever restless, is unable to make a proper assessment of an issue. When the mind is in doubt it is compared to muddy water placed in darkness which cannot reflect an image well. Thus all the five hindrances deprive the mind of understanding and happiness and cause much stress and suffering.

Buddhism puts forward a methodical plan of action for the gradual elimination of stress and the increase of happiness and understanding.

The first step recommended in this plan is the observance of the Five Precepts comprising the abstention from killing, stealing, illicit sex, falsehood and intoxicants. Stress is greatly aggravated by guilt, and these precepts help man to free his conscience from the sense of guilt. The Dhammapada says the evil-doer suffers here and hereafter; on the other hand, the man who does good deeds rejoices here and hereafter.

Buddhism firmly believes that evil increases stress while good increases happiness. In addition to the observance of the Five Precepts throughout life, Buddhism advocates the periodical observance of the Eight Precepts by laymen. These additional precepts attempt to train man for leading a simple life catering to one’s needs rather than one’s greed. A frugal mode of life where wants are few and are easily satisfied is highly extolled in Buddhism. It is the avaricious and the acquisitive mentality that is responsible for so much stress that we experience.

The next step in the process of training is the control of the sense faculties. When our sense faculties are uncontrolled, we experience severe strain. We have to first understand what is meant by being uncontrolled in the sense faculties. When a person sees a beautiful form with his eyes, he gets attracted to it; when he sees an unpleasant object, he gets repelled by it. Similarly with the other senses too. Thus, the person who has no control over his senses is constantly attracted and repelled by sense data, as during waking life, sense data keep on impinging on his sense faculties constantly. When pulled in different directions by sense stimuli, we become confused and distressed.

Our sense faculties have different spheres of activity and different objects, and as each sense faculty is a lord in its own sphere, and as they can separately and collectively dominate man, they are called in Pali indriyas, meaning “lords” or “masters”. If we allow the sense faculties to dominate us, we get terribly confused. If we assert ourselves and control our sense faculties, we can have unalloyed pleasure (avyasekasukha), so called because this pleasure is uncontaminated by defilements. It is also called adhicittasukha, meaning “spiritual pleasure”. Whereas sense pleasures increase stress, this type of spiritual pleasure reduces stressfulness while increasing peace of mind and contentment.

The third step in the management of stress is the cultivation of wholesome mental habits through meditation (bhavana). Just as we look after and nurture our body with proper food and cleanliness, the mind too needs proper nourishment and cleansing. The mind is most volatile in its untrained state, but when it is tamed and made more stable, it brings great happiness. Buddhism prescribes two fundamental meditative methods of mind-training called samatha and vipassana, calm and insight. The former is the method of calming the volatile mind, while the latter is the method of comprehending the true nature of bodily and mental phenomena. Both methods are extremely helpful for overcoming stress.

The Samaññaphala Sutta explains with the help of five appropriate similes how meditation reduces the psychological stress caused by the five hindrances. The man who practises meditation gains a great sense of relief and it is this sense of unburdening oneself that the similes illustrate.

They are as follows: A man who has raised capital for a business by taking a loan, prospers in business, pays off the loan and manages his day-to-day affairs with financial ease. Such a man experiences a great sense of relief. The second simile portrays a man who has suffered a great deal with a prolonged chronic illness. He gets well at long last, food becomes palatable to him and he gains physical strength. Great is the relief such a man experiences. The third simile speaks of the relief a prisoner enjoys after being released from a long term in jail. The fourth is the slave who gains freedom from slavery. The fifth simile speaks of a well-to-do man who gets lost in a fearful desert without food. On coming to a place of safety he experiences great relief.

When the stress caused by the five hindrances is eliminated from the mind, great joy and delight arise similar to the relief enjoyed by the men described in the similes. The best and most effective way of overcoming stress is the practice of meditation or mental cultivation. However, as a prelude to that, at least the Five Precepts must be observed.

The cultivation of positive emotions such as loving kindness (metta), compassion (karuna), sympathetic joy (mudita), and equanimity (upekkha) is another means of conquering stress.

Strained interpersonal relations is one of the common causes of stress in household life and at the workplace.

Loving kindness is the positive wholesome attitude one can cultivate to benefit oneself and others in all interpersonal relationships. Compassion is the emotion with which one should regard and help those in distress.

Sympathetic joy is the ability to rejoice at the joy of another. It is difficult for a man of mean character to entertain this attitude as the joy of another brings jealousy to the mind of such a person. Where there is jealousy, there is no unity, and where there is no unity there is no progress. The cultivation of these positive emotions leads to material and spiritual progress.

Equanimity is the attitude to be adopted in the face of the vicissitudes of life. There are eight natural ups and downs that we have to face in life. They are gain and loss, fame and lack of fame, praise and blame, happiness and sorrow. If one trains oneself to maintain an equanimous temperament without being either elated or dejected in the face of these vicissitudes, one can avoid much stress and lead a simple life with peace and contentment.

We cannot change the world so that it will give us happiness. But we can change our attitude towards the world so as to remain unaffected by the stresses exerted by events around us. Buddhism teaches the way to bring about this wholesome change of attitude.

Lotus 292.

The forms of the central and surrounding deities… should not be protruding like a clay statue or cast image, yet neither should they be flat like a painting. In contrast, they should be apparent, yet not truly existent, like a rainbow in the sky or the reflection of the moon in a lake. They should appear as though conjured up by a magician. Clear appearance involves fixing the mind one-pointedly on these forms with a sense of vividness, nakedness, lucidity, and clarity.

— Jigme Lingpa

Jigme Lingpa 7.

没有文化的人,念阿弥陀佛圣号就可以
明学长老

现在信徒来皈依三宝的也很多,皈依三宝就是皈依过了之后作为一个正式的佛教徒了。没有皈依之前,甚至你在家里吃素念佛,到庙里烧香拜佛,叫善男信女。皈依过之后,正式进入佛门了,作为一个佛教徒,成为三宝弟子。皈依佛宝、皈依法宝、皈依僧宝,皈依三宝,皈依过后成为了一个佛教徒。

佛教有佛法僧三宝,佛就是释迦牟尼佛,阿弥陀佛等等,法就是佛讲的经,僧就是出家人出了家是僧宝。佛法僧三宝。皈依过之后要根据佛教规矩去做,做好一个佛教徒,根据五戒十善去做,道德就高尚了。

那么你说我们为什么要信佛呢,将来要成佛的,信佛的目的将来要成佛的。信佛学佛,念佛成佛,那么怎么样念佛成佛呢?人人都有佛性的,不管男女老少,大家都有佛性,不管你信不信都有。那么你要是信佛了呢,学哪个法门,要把它能够修成功。不是说,说说而已就成佛了。

佛说的八万四千法门都可以了生死,你看看你修哪个法门了。修净土法门三根普被,利钝全收,人人都可以修。男女老少大家都可以修,没文化的人也好修。三岁小孩子什么都不懂,教他念南无阿弥陀佛他会念;八十岁九十岁老人没文化的一个大字不识念什么经他不会念,教他念南无阿弥陀佛他会念;有文化的人可以看看佛教经书佛教教理佛教的规矩,没有文化的就念一句阿弥陀佛就可以。

灵岩山是净土道场,就老实念佛,念南无阿弥陀佛。净土宗,只要念佛,念佛求生西方,主要在一个“念”字。

当然呢,佛教经书念《佛说阿弥陀经》《无量寿经》乃至《地藏经》都可以念的。那么问题是主要是要根据《阿弥陀经》念佛求生西方,在于一个“念”字,人家问你干什么?求生西方极乐世界,这是净土宗根本最大的一个宗旨,念佛宗旨。关键问题是要念佛求生西方,这个是一个关键。

念佛干啥,念佛不是当钱用的。要求生西方,要发愿,到临命终时还是要念佛,关键还是临终时要念佛,念佛求生西方,到了西方极乐世界,不再六道轮回。六道轮回就是在三善道三恶道里,不在三恶道,三善道了。天人阿修罗,三善道。地狱饿鬼畜生,三恶道。在六道轮回里打转。念佛求生西方就脱离了六道轮回了,离开这个生死苦海,到西方极乐世界里去了,生死就了脱了,念佛修成佛。

Ven Min Xue (明学长老) 4..jpg

Bodhisattvas are enlightened sentient beings who are aware of all sentient beings’ sufferings, feel sympathy for others’ plight, and act to give help to them.

Bodhisattvas are those who have faith in the Buddha’s teachings and seek to practise them, who then vow to liberate themselves and others, and who can even disregard themselves in order to save others.

Bodhisattvas can be either ordinary people or noble ones. The bodhisattva path consists of 52 stages. Bodhisattvas on any of the first 40 stages before the 10 grounds are ordinary beings, whereas those on any of the last 12 stages are noble ones.

Ven Sheng Yen 13..jpg

— Venerable Sheng Yen

The Red Coat and the Teaching of Impermanence
by Reginald A. Ray

The Buddhist teachings on impermanence are usually considered primarily as an antidote to our attachment to samsara. But, as the following story suggests, when impermanence is deeply experienced it can give rise to genuine love for others and a sense of sacredness in our human existence.

Many years ago I knew a young woman who loved beauty. She was a quiet and shy person, perhaps because of much suffering in her childhood. But as a result, she had a tender regard for all those in pain and exceptional awareness, so that she could see exactly what was going on in other people, even if buried under layers of conditioning and pretence. She was so simple and unpretentious that most people who met her had no idea of the depth of her inner life.

My friend was striking, in fact, quite beautiful. Her eyes were extraordinary-dark, clear and highly intelligent. She loved clothes that were elegant and well-made, and she always made herself up with care. When she was dressed in one of her few beloved outfits you could-at least I could-feast your eyes on her for hours.

One of her favourite pastimes was leafing through catalogues, finding things of unusual beauty and imagining what it would be like to wear them. As she didn’t have much money, this was generally window-shopping, but it gave her much pleasure nonetheless.

One day, a few years into our friendship, she told me that she had not been feeling well. Fatigue and pains of unknown origin and significance had been growing lately. As was her way, humble, patient and a little too enduring, she waited some time before consulting a physician. But when she did, it turned out that she was very ill with a degenerative disease that at that time was not treatable. She received this news with a combination of acceptance and sorrowful resignation. She was not afraid of dying but she was terribly sad, for she was young and she felt she had only just begun to live her life. How could she so soon leave the beauty she saw all around her? How could she miss the experiences of marriage, children and family?

Still, as her health deteriorated she did not lose her love of beautiful clothes. In her last months in the hospital, she continued to receive her clothing catalogues and roam through them as if through paradise. When I would come to visit, which I did about once a week, there would be a little stack of catalogues on her bedside table. In each one, the corners of certain pages were turned down, marking a dress, a shawl or a jacket that she wanted to show me. She told me that she had been through many more catalogues and had saved “only the best ones” for me to see.

In the beginning, I would look at her prize discoveries somewhat perfunctorily, attempting to feign an interest that I did not feel. But as the weeks wore on, I gradually began to see them through her eyes. I found myself admiring the beautifully scalloped collar of a jacket, the gently flowing lines of a very feminine blouse, the outrageous burst of colour of a certain scarf, the delicacy of a sterling silver pin. I looked forward to leafing through newly arrived catalogues with her, delighting in whatever was perfectly fashioned, stunning and luscious. Together, we imagined how she might look in this or that outfit.

And then one day, we both discovered the red coat. It was in an otherwise unexceptional Bloomingdale’s catalogue. A spring offering, it was calf length, deep red with large black buttons, and made of a light suede. It appeared elegant and beautifully tailored, with a gently moulded collar, soft shoulders, and rounded lines throughout. We could both see that this was her coat. It had been made for her. We admired it, imagined it on her, and talked about what it could be worn with and on what occasions. The next time I came to visit her, she told me that, in spite of her limited funds and medical bills, she had ordered the red coat.

We both awaited its arrival with anticipation. One day I came in to find her sitting up in bed, her eyes glowing with anticipation. There on her bedside table was a box marked “Bloomingdale’s.” She had been waiting for me so that we could open it together. She handed me the scissors she had placed neatly by the box and I cut through the wrapping tape. She lifted out the coat, a deep, elegant Chinese red far more striking and beautiful than the catalogue picture. “Let me try it on for you.”

By this time she had become very weak, and I had to help her out of bed. Young and beautiful a few months before, she now looked like an old woman. Her skin was grey and wrinkled, her hair had lost its sheen, the classical definitions of her face were now puffy and misshapen. There was something heartbreaking in this worn and haggard woman, near death, trying on this new coat so that I could “see how she looked.”

As she shook out the red coat, the physical pride and presence of her former person animated her briefly. Over her wrinkled, sweaty nightgown she slipped the red coat. And I promise you, for one moment, she was the most beautiful woman in the world. I know that she felt it too. For a moment, she admired herself in the small hospital mirror and I could now see, perhaps for the first time, that it was the beauty of the red coat that held her attention and that gave her brief joy. I finally understood that all those years it was not her own beauty at all but the beauty of the wonderful clothes she wore that brought her such happiness.

And then the red coat was hung in the closet at the foot of her bed, never to be worn again. Now she got out of bed only to visit the bathroom; the effort was so great it was unthinkable to add the extra step of putting on the coat. But each time I would visit her after that, she would ask me to open the closet door so that we could see the coat hanging there. And then she would ask me to take it out and hold it up for her so that we could admire it together one more time.

Not long after, she died. I was not with her in her final moments, but when I heard that she had died, I thought of her and of the elegant red coat, hanging in the closet at the foot of her bed, which had brought her such happiness in her final days. I remembered how beautiful she had looked when she had put it on for me that one time.

Later the day she died, a female relative of hers and I were in the hospital room packing up her belongings. When we came to the red coat the relative commented, “What a waste that she spent money on a coat she never even wore!” But she did wear it and perhaps with more elegance and flair, for that one moment, than such a coat has ever been worn. If that is a waste, then it must mean that everything in life is a waste, which in a certain sense it may be.

A few weeks after she died, recalling the moment when she put on the red coat, I realised something about her life. Her beauty, her love of elegant clothes and the devotion with which she made herself up were her generous and selfless gifts to all of us who knew her. I also realised something else, about how brief and fragile, and also daring and fearless, life can be. How bold and brave to put on such a red coat in the face of death, to delight in it even if for only a moment, when everything is slipping away into darkness. But maybe that is what we all do, all the time, without knowing it.

It is said that the Buddha taught 84,000 gates to the dharma, to ultimate reality. For me, the experience of my friend and her red coat was one of those 84,000 gates. As long as my friend was firmly in the land of the living, I took her existence for granted. I didn’t really look at her. Instead, I experienced her through the veil of my own self-satisfied concepts and I was unable to appreciate who she was, in her own right. Yet when I realised that our time together was limited and our friendship would soon meet its end, only then was the veil stripped away.

In that moment, I saw my friend with a new and shocking nakedness. I discovered a love and appreciation for her that had nothing to do with my own personal values and preconceptions. Somehow the experience of impermanence momentarily shattered my habitual grasp on things and I was able to experience the beauty of what she was, of what is, and its sacredness. I came to a deeper understanding of why Buddhism, in every school and orientation, has always placed such a premium on realising impermanence: while it is the thing we human beings most dread, it is the most compassionate gift life has given us and our greatest resource. For, as is said in another context, only those who are fortunate enough to find their life slipping away, have any hope of finding it.

Reginald Ray 11.

It may happen sometimes that a long debate becomes the cause of a longer friendship. Commonly, those who dispute with one another at last agree.

— Sakya Pandita

Sakya Pandita 萨迦班智达 7